And as this year was winding to a close I decided to do a little self reflection, and after 11 whole minutes I managed to conclude that 2013 sucked.
Let’s face it, I’ve had rotten years before but this year nearly had me take a three month vacation at the Breckenridge home for the mentally damaged.
And so I am REALLY thrilled to say good-bye to the year that saw my oldest son call me by my first name, my daughter no longer calling me Debbie but Cruella, I stopped sleeping three nights a week because my of my new friend, RLS, I stopped posting/blogging on a daily basis because my funny kept getting lost along with my socks and spoons and the Madhouse family suffered the loss of twins when I miscarried earlier in the year.
So as I was sitting here on my cheap divan it suddenly occurred to me that any attempt at resolutions for this new year would be a complete waste of time. (As usual)
But maybe…just maybe, if I started “confessing” my errors in judgement rather than trying to forget about them and move on, I could possibly be in for the best year of my life!
And thus we shall now look at my sins of 2013:
#2. No one can confirm that Carly Simon didn’t write that song about me.
#3. I don’t care what anyone says, I’m convinced that Barry Manilow and Penny Marshall are the same person.
#4. I’ve only watched, “What does the fox say” once.
#5. After a celebrity dies I go like their facebook fan page and follow them on twitter.
#6. Lionel Richie’s “Endless Love” is still a tear jerker.
#7. 50% of my LOL’s really weren’t.
#8. Shark week has never excited me.
#9 I’ve already forgotten what the Harry Potter movies were about.
#10. Sometimes I don’t brush my teeth until after I’ve had my coffee.
#11. I didn’t know what twerking was until Miley.
#12. I take extra napkins from fast food places and stuff them in my glove box.
#14. I always forget to tell someone that someone else asked me to tell them hi.
#15. Little House on the Prairie re-runs still make me cry.
#16. I giggle when someone says “nips.”
#17. I stopped saying the “S” word on facebook once my priest sent me a friends request.
#18. I didn’t watch one, single black and white movie in 2013 with Katherine Hepburn in it.
#19. I fast forwarded through almost all of “Event Horizon” and told my husband I was finally able to watch the whole thing.
#20. I had a dream that Don Johnson wanted to be my boyfriend.
#21. Sometimes I exaggerate my blog posts.
#22. Every time I hear the song “Paralyzer” on the radio I turn it all the way up and bang my steering wheel.
#23. I’ve never read “50 shades of grey” since I already have that all over my laundry room walls.
#25. I tweet for money.
#26. I forgot to recycle on purpose just to make my point.
#27. Sometimes, after I fold all of the laundry, I leave it in piles on the hall floor.
#28. I have a crush on Loki. Well, and on Thor too…but especially Loki.
#29. Sandpaper gives me the heebie jeebies.
#30. That “accidental un-friending” wasn’t really an accident.
#31. I called some of our politicians bad names this year.
#32. I’m still rooting for Jennifer Aniston.
#33. I’d rather shoot a rapist than get on all fours and moo to try to scare him away.
#35. I pretend the remote control is lost so the kids can’t change the channel.
#36. I sniff my kids markers and glue bottles when they aren’t looking.
And finally…#37. I’m still waiting for Sam Elliot to take me for a ride on his Harley and tell me that only I can prevent wild fires.
And there you have it…my 2013 in review. Pretty rad, huh? LOL <<< (not really LOL’ing)
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