The first post was a put down of the stay at home mom while the second focused on the “secrets” of a happily married woman…
And both made me laugh.
Let’s be honest y’all…The “Sisterhood” is a fantasy that will never be realized because the good Lord above graced His planet with only two sexes and in so doing, He left the door wide open for bitter comparisons that will never, EVER, go away.
And I’m good with that…but that’s just me.
First I’ll address an article written by Amy Glass called “I look down on young woman with husbands and kids and I’m not sorry for it.” Which I’m linking to here.
And if you choose to read it and you’re a young woman(young being subjective)with a husband, kids and you stay home, just be prepared, depending on your disposition, to be mildly irked or really pissed off.
And to give credit where it’s due, I’ll admit that she did have a point.
At least when it comes to me.
She wrote: “It’s because women secretly like to talk about how hard managing a household is so they don’t have to explain their lack of real accomplishments.”
And she’s correct. I do talk about it and it’s not so I don’t have to explain my lack of accomplishments, but so I don’t have to explain why I didn’t accomplish something.
What our little Miss Amy is missing in her rant against the SAHM, (that would be an acronym for “stay at home mom” for those of you in Rio Linda) is that once a woman makes the choice to quit working and take care of family, suddenly everyone wants/needs her to do something.
I’m taking a stand here and admitting that there are times when I should be doing some mundane chore and I choose not to. Rather, I sit on my fanny and decide the toilets can wait because Judge Judy is on.
Little Amy isn’t in a position where she’s had to choose between her corporate status and her family yet, but when she does, I’m willing to bet it may not be as easy as she thinks, because one thing the SAHM has figured out after she’s had kids and quit working is that everyone in the “corporate world” is replaceable.
But a mom isn’t.
Miss Amy believes that mountain climbing or becoming an executive is more important than raising the next generation of useless eaters, and while getting raises and awards from an employer can feed an ego, you can’t take it with you when you die.
Sure, maybe Miss Amy could become the first woman president, but after she’s dead it won’t make any difference because she’ll be D-E-A-D.
And the dead don’t care…
The only thing that is forever is family. You can either have one where the kids need therapy as adults because mommy didn’t hug them enough as a child, or you can have one where mom may have looked a hot mess, but she was there.
I don’t know about Miss Amy, but I’d like to think my descendants would rather know that I broke the cycle of physical, sexual and substance abuse that runs so rampant in my family for generations by being home for my kids rather than read about how I was one of many nameless woman who became some president of some company.
Miss Amy and others like her suffer from what Freud called “penis envy.”
They don’t like their wombs being used to give birth to men, therefore, all women should hate it.
Personally I’m a fan of my womb and I’m pretty sure my husband and my kids agree, but Miss Amy is entitled to her opinion and while she angrily types on her blog and tells the world that women’s goals should be not to share her body with a baby, I’ll just sit here and match socks while I help my kids with their homework.
Besides, I like my family a whole lot more than anyone I ever met in the corporate world.
Secondly, Theresa Thomas wrote about the 12 secrets of a happily married woman here.
And though I agreed with her more than I disagreed, I still laughed because if anyone ever asked me how to be a happily married woman I’d say, “Why ya cryin’? You knew he squeezed the toothpaste from the middle when you married him!”
Now, I don’t want to poke fun at Theresa because she’s a Catholic mom, like moi…though she’s had three more kids than I, which makes me think she’s a fan of her womb too, but I do want to politely disagree with her.
She writes that happily married women exercise, eat well and take care of their appearance.
Okay…I get it, but I can be just as happy by assembling a bunk bed all by myself rather than climbing fake stairs and I personally find more enjoyment eating french toast over a bran muffin and even though I do care that I don’t scare away the kids friends when I answer the door, I will not put on make-up just to impress my cat while I’m home.
Because if I had to depend on the cat for my self worth I would have committed suicide by now.
I think my old neighbor would dispute that.
Considering that she dropped out of high school, never read a book that didn’t have a picture of a half dressed warrior on the cover, the only time she was ever soft was when she used conditioner in her hair and she could burp louder than my dog…yet this woman told me she was living large and loving it.
She and her husband had really low expectations of the world and just liked being together. I personally thought they could use a make-over all over, but that’s just me.
Numbers seven and eight stated that happily married women encourage their husbands to spend time with their male friends and greet their man with a smile, eye contact and a hug.
Okay, okay…but here’s my version: encourage your husbands to spend time with his buddies so he’ll be out of the way and be sure to greet him when he comes home because while he may be a stinker, he loves you.
If he didn’t, he’d be going to a hotel with some “dancer” named Bambi.
Every SAHM has a sense of humor. If she didn’t, she’d be at work…
Finally, numbers 10, 11 and 12 state that the happily married woman has high expectations, anticipate their husbands needs and have a servants heart.
I have low expectations. Mainly because I know that I’m not promised tomorrow and too many expectations lead to disappointment.
Ever seen my kids bathrooms? Nuff said…
Number 11 is easy. What was is Jeff Foxworthy said? Oh yeah, “I want a beer and I want to see something naked.” So…I send my husband to the fridge for his beer while I unclog the toilet and he’s usually greeted by one of my daughters naked dolls in the vegetable drawer.
And finally…the servants heart. Well, if you’re married and have kids…need I say more?
I’d like to add number 13 if I may, since I know too many of these. Don’t be a martyr, save that for those who really martyr themselves in the name of freedom of religion, speech, blah blah blah…every mom cooks and cleans and not all of us think we deserve recognition for it.
So…who wins? The working mom, the SAHM or the single, working feminist type?
I don’t know…that’s different for every female…
But I’ve been single and there’s a reason why I’m not anymore. We were all created to “fit” with someone else and once you find that someone there’s no need to pretend you’d rather have a plaque saying you were employee of the month over that someone who kisses you and says, “I love you.”
I was a working mom. I worked from the time I was 15 until I was pregnant with child number five and there’s not enough chocolate in Willy Wonka’s factory to make me choose that life style again. (But it’s close)
Telling my child no to something because I didn’t have time for them because I was working proved to me that if a woman can, and she’s willing, then there’s no place like home.
Except for maybe the day spa…
So for me, the SAHM wins. (Who could also be a WAHM, a SAHD or a WAHD)
Oh…and the family wins too.
After I finish the kitchen, the laundry, the bathrooms and get my husband a beer…
(Psst…I desperately need your help. My blog was nominated for the Hilariously Funny Blog and I forgot all about it the last three weeks and my blog is waaaaaay down. Could you please click here, only if you think I deserve to win, scroll down to “Moms Madhouse” and vote. PA-LEEEZE!!!!! Thanks!!!!)