Why thank you, thank you very much. I apologize for my absence. *Wiping brow* I’ve been so busy with my kids, the neighbors kids, the neighbors friends kids and my husband’s co-workers kids this summer that I forgot how to how to go to bathroom.
It’s been a rough month. Matter of fact, it’s been a rough year. There’s been so many firsts since New Year’s Eve from when I finally got to see the, “To serve man” episode on the Twilight Zone marathon, to when I stepped on a hair ball for the first time this morning and went into denial by chastising the dog for shedding in the toilet and and plopping the result by my feet as my cat licked himself and chuckled.
But like I stated in my title, I’ve been going through some first times over here.
And with all of these first time’s I really needed to take some time for myself and concentrate more on making fun of celebrities by re-tweeting their tweets.
And now that I’ve had my fun it’s time to get serious.
Like when I experienced the first day of school with my 5 year old daughter 2 weeks ago.
I had actually convinced myself that I wouldn’t cry again since I had already watched my older 5 boys sit in their little 3 inch chairs at their little 5 inch tables and wave good bye to me in their kindergarten classes over the years.
I ended up crying so much it was as if I had just found out that Paul Ryan’s abs were fake, because my daughter had these cute little pig tails that bounced on her shoulders as she ran towards the playground and yelled out, “Bye Debbie!”
Or maybe it was because she told her new teacher that her real parents were in rehab.
Thanks be to God that I still had that nursing pad from 2001 in my purse to dry my tears because I cried so hard that the janitor had showed up with a mop and bucket.
I also had my first experience this summer when I was butt dialed by son #3′s cell phone and got to listen to him tell his friend that he had been caught by his girlfriends mother with their lips locked since their braces had gotten “stuck together while they were wrestling.”
Now I know why he stayed home and watched reruns of Gunsmoke with me for the first time for a whole week.
In February my husband happened to notice that the window screen on the window of our 16 years bedroom was a little…crooked.
What? I actually got the truth for the first time without hearing a response that began with, “Wasn’t me,” and ended with, “I don’t know?”
Wow…there actually is a God and not only does He love me but he gave my son a conscience.
Either that or it was the threat of sharing mommy and daddy’s bed that got him talking.
But the big first that really got me thinking it was time to re-read “Men are from Mars and Little Girls Want A Penis” was when my daughter decided she could do anything a boy could do when last Thursday she managed to talk me into going swimming during a thunderstorm.
Well why not?
“Hey honey, whatcha doing?” I asked.
“Because Debbie, anything the boys can do I can do better.”
“And what’s the stick for?”
“To dig the hole.”