First thing’s first and first I’d like to welcome myself back to my blog. So…welcome back Mrs. Me.
Why thank you, thank you very much. I apologize for my absence. *Wiping brow* I’ve been so busy with my kids, the neighbors kids, the neighbors friends kids and my husband’s co-workers kids this summer that I forgot how to how to go to bathroom.
It’s been a rough month. Matter of fact, it’s been a rough year. There’s been so many firsts since New Year’s Eve from when I finally got to see the, “To serve man” episode on the Twilight Zone marathon, to when I stepped on a hair ball for the first time this morning and went into denial by chastising the dog for shedding in the toilet and and plopping the result by my feet as my cat licked himself and chuckled.
And in honor of these first’s I’ve decided to buy a gondola, a lion and change my name to something catchy that no one else has to honor our mother in Heaven.
Like Madonna.
But like I stated in my title, I’ve been going through some first times over here.
And with all of these first time’s I really needed to take some time for myself and concentrate more on making fun of celebrities by re-tweeting their tweets.
And now that I’ve had my fun it’s time to get serious.
Like when I experienced the first day of school with my 5 year old daughter 2 weeks ago.
*Sniffle*
I had actually convinced myself that I wouldn’t cry again since I had already watched my older 5 boys sit in their little 3 inch chairs at their little 5 inch tables and wave good bye to me in their kindergarten classes over the years.
I ended up crying so much it was as if I had just found out that Paul Ryan’s abs were fake, because my daughter had these cute little pig tails that bounced 
on her shoulders as she ran towards the playground and yelled out, “Bye Debbie!”
Or maybe it was because she told her new teacher that her real parents were in rehab.
Thanks be to God that I still had that nursing pad from 2001 in my purse to dry my tears because I cried so hard that the janitor had showed up with a mop and bucket.
I also had my first experience this summer when I was butt dialed by son #3′s cell phone and got to listen to him tell his friend that he had been caught by his girlfriends mother with their lips locked since their braces had gotten “stuck together while they were wrestling.”
Now I know why he stayed home and watched reruns of Gunsmoke with me for the first time for a whole week.
In February my husband happened to notice that the window screen on the window of our 16 years bedroom was a little…crooked.
When our child was asked how this could possibly happen without the sc
reen being removed he sat at the table, put his head in his hands, sighed and said, “Tod snuck in.
What? I actually got the truth for the first time without hearing a response that began with, “Wasn’t me,” and ended with, “I don’t know?”
Wow…there actually is a God and not only does He love me but he gave my son a conscience.
Either that or it was the threat of sharing mommy and daddy’s bed that got him talking.
But the big first that really got me thinking it was time to re-read “Men are from Mars and Little Girls Want A Penis” was when my daughter decided she could do anything a boy could do when last Thursday she managed to talk me into going swimming during a thunderstorm.
Well why not?
10 minutes after we had jumped in she got out of the pool, grabbed a stick, stood by the rock decoration and smiled at me.
“Hey honey, whatcha doing?” I asked.
“Peeing.”
“Um, why?”
“Because Debbie, anything the boys can do I can do better.”
“And what’s the stick for?”
“To dig the hole.”
*Sigh*
Seems even longer – miss your great posts!
LOL…thanks Martin
Wow !! That’s an amazing series of “Firsts” you have chronicled here and of course brought alive so well – like you always do ! Cheers
Thanks so much!
Bahahaha! That’s hilarious. I’m sorry your life has been so chaotic but I welcome you back with open arms. You were greatly missed!
Why thanks punkin
Family circus! Thanks for the article, Sharon
You betcha
So funny!
Hilarious as ever
I cried buckets too, the first time my daughter went to preschool. It’s just heartbreaking, isn’t it?
Butt dialing is extremely dangerous. We learn things we don’t want to know. But then again, maybe those are things we have to know…
And what’s crazy is my son doesn’t even have braces!
Hey hun, how’s it going?? And congratulations on having a kindergartener! Now you have a few hours of peace at home… I think. Enjoyed reading this, Sharon. Hugs to you!
Hugs back hunny!
I don’t know how you do it. My 5-year old nephew has been here for a few weeks and we’re loving it, but it is exhausting. Can’t even imagine juggling all your kids! Hopefully you’ll get at least some free time now that school has started.
I take xanax. A lot
Who the heck is this Tod?!
I dunno
My kids are 12 and 14 this year. Those early years seem so long ago and yet seem like yesterday. Cherish the chaos and the moments.
That’s why I cried, last kid in kindergarten after 22 years of kids
Great blog post – kids sure are funny!
Aren’t they great?
Just think of it this way, you have a whole lot of ammunition for posts from here on
Sorry to hear you had such a traumatic ‘first day at kindergarten’ experience.
And I’ll never have another
Oh what a happy way to start the morning!! –Crying in the nursing pad ROTFL!!!!
but now the house is going to be quite–for a little while WHAT EVER WILL YOU DO!?!?!?! =^)
Well, daughter is only in kindergarten for 3 hours, so I usually have time to clean the house
Welcome back! Line about Paul Ryan’s abs a classic.
It would be a horrifying day if they really were fake
I’m going through the last kid in Kindergarten after 23 years of kids thing in about two weeks. Kudos for keeping nursing pads in your purse for such dire situations.
LOL…I know, right?
So glad my mom didn’t…wait…doesn’t blog!
Ha ha
Always a pleasure to read your posts Debbie! Keep them coming, PLEASE!
DEBBIE! Bahahahaha!!!! When will she stop calling me that? Still don’t know who Debbie is!
I’m a SAHD with two little boys, and at least twice a day I can already see what I am going to be dealing with when they are teens.
Xanax, lots of it…
V. Funny…i have to say it, but you sound like you could use a vacation. I guess that’s par for the course if you are a mom.
I get these mini vacations when I go to sleep…does that count?
Hmmm I usually use a little garden shovel to dig my pee holes with, but I guess a stick would do
I’ve thought about starting a personal blog, but I don’t think I have the dedication to keep to a blogging schedule.
I think the shovel was so she could go #2
“Or maybe it was because she told her new teacher that her real parents were in rehab.” That is hilarious. Something our #1 son would have come up with….
They have no shame…
Awesome, glad to be able to get informed and entertained here on a regular basis!!
Informed? You mean the shovel?
Welcome back and thank you for the giggles
I’m hoping that I don’t cry next week when my youngest starts Kindergarten *sigh….
OH yeah, you will!
Top friend, Top Lady, Top Blog.
Golly
Sending the baby off to school was harder for me than sending the oldest for the first time. Something inside me realized that this is the last of the “firsts” that would be experiencing with my kids. They are both adults now. I have to swallow a lump when I say that. It is a joy to watch them grow – and kudos to your kid for telling the truth about the screen.
That is it exactly! And my boy should get a medal for not lying. Except he did break a rule, so…no medal!
i have no time to blog – and don’t have the job of managing a house and children – once a month is awesome !!
And here I’m all about 3 x’s a week usually
I agree, you deserve a vacation without the kids. I don’t have any kids and I feel like August exploded all over the place and I’m not quite sure where to most of the pieces.
LOL…exploded into pieces,luv it!
Sharon… all I have to say is that I love your life! No I am not coveting by any means! hahaha!… just kidding… at least I love how share your life with us. Grace, peace and blessings,Carla
You are welcome for coffee and hair ball cleaning anytime
It’s a nice post.we will come back again,if you like our site,we will link to you!817mvkefeng
Huh?
Hey Sharon! Glad you are back! Well… a month and a bit is not such a long time when you have such a busy Mommy life.
Ya know, we are always here.. 
Aw, Alex…you’re #1!
Good to have you back!
Good to be back
This is my first time visiting and I feel like I’ve just stepped into the circus. Awesome! I absolutely cannot wait to read more
Well I am so glad you liked it Nicole
Thanks so much!
Well, this is my first time to your blog… so welcome back. I do know what it is like to be busy though and have strongly considered taking a break… we will see.
Thank you Gina, it’s good to be back. As for taking a break, I just broke my favorite coffee cup, so I think I’m off to a great start
It is a wonder that any of us get a chance to pee. This is my first time stopping by…and I love the way you write. It’s also nice to know that I am not the only one with a daughter that has a serious case of penis envy.”
Freud would love the female youth of today
Thanks so much for stopping by
You mean you didn’t understand what Wholesale Nike Shoes meant? We all understood that – what is wrong with you? lol
You don’t know me well enough for me to pick with you, but too bad. I just had to.
Funny post. My head is still swimming trying to keep up but oh how funny it was.
Um…Nike?
very funny! hah! 5 year olds… they are just very imaginative and have full of those “why didn’t i think of that?” ideas!
Could have saved me years of running into the bathroom with a dripping bathing suit
And all this time we was a votin’. Good to see you back in the saddle.
It’s a very comfy saddle
Welcome back Sweetie! Enough of the “firsts”! They are too hard to live through, but very funny to talk about. Why is that? Personally, I’m into “lasts”. Like, this is the last time I will ever move or this is the last time I’m going to tell you. “Lasts” can be sentimental and funny too. Try them — you’ll like them!
All my love, Mauntie
Love you and miss you mauntie!
Welcome Back! I sniffled a little at your youngest going to school. How can she be big enough already?
steroids baby! And I’m glad to be back!
Naughty Naughty
Ta-ta-ta-ta-tease me!
Debbie… it never gets easier sending your baby to their first day of school, does it? My baby just had her experience two days ago… I am still sniffling! Grace, peace and blessings, Carla
Nope…and now I’ll never do it again…*sniff* Luv to ya gurl
LMAO drying your tears on an old nursing pad!!!! I’ve gone on a blogging vacation as well–let’s see how long this stint lasts! Good to have you back as well!
I’ve just relapsed and haven’t blogged in over a week:(
I hope your daughter would be better than you when she grow up. She can do anything better than boys.
Is that a compliment Nicolas?
Thanks to share the interesting article !