Hey Mom, There’s A Double Pleasure Waiting For You…
“And it ain’t no twins with minty fresh gum,” and off went son #2 to go clean his belly button lint.
So I put a pox on the boy and sat down to watch “Deadly Women.”
About 3 minutes into a love triangle involving Harvard grads, Curiosity the cat bit me. Hard…so I gave in and began a search.
Was it an early birthday present, I wondered? Like a new watering can to replace the one I threw at the cat?
Or maybe it was a new hair dryer, to replace the one the boys had thrown into the bathtub to scare their little sister during bath time.
Perhaps someone had folded all of the socks for me while I’d been sick. Or maybe one of the kids had remembered to pull the nintendo ds games out from the hole in the wall.
No, wait…I reminded myself. Funny Boy had said “double pleasure.” So this implies multiple something. In addition, I reminded myself again, it was said in that certain way…
AHA!
I know! It’s either in the kitchen, on top of the ceiling fan, under the living room 
furniture or clogging my toilet.
So I check the toilet first, half afraid I was going to find the 6 year old’s Lighting Mcqueen and Toe-mater water skiing again. Nope…whew
And as I head out toward the front room, my bionic vision kicks in and I see…IT! Or rather I see…THEM! 2 open loaves of bread! Half full!
But, but…that’s impossible, because I warned the children that if they E-V-E-R opened a 2nd of something before the first of something was all gone, I’d have to shave off all of their body hair.
That or post their potty training videos on youtube.
What is the matter with these people?
And now that I’m barely able to think a coherent thought, my daughter comes running out of her
bathroom with two rolls of toilet paper flying behind her as she laughs her fool head off and the dog and cat chase after her.
Great, because earlier in the day when I went into her bathroom to get the left over chili mac out of the sink, I saw that there were five rolls of that very same toilet paper on the counter. Soaking wet.
Don’t ask. I didn’t…
So as I’m thinkin’ my kids are using that “selective hearing” thing again, I suddenly see the 13 year old open his bedroom door and head towards the kitchen sink with two plates, a spoon, a fork, my missing spatula and not three, not even four but six plastic drinking cups out of his room. Oh, and an empt
y carton of eggs.
Six cups???? He only shares his room with one brother! And that one never eats or drinks anything unless I hook him up to an IV drip.
And right before I can ask him who’s been sneaking into his room for brunch, my 11 year old walks down the hall, rips off the shirt he’s been wearing for the past 23 minutes, pulls out another from the dryer, puts it on, grabs my cell phone, makes a call, laughs and rips off that shirt.
Which he throws into the washing machine! And it doesn’t even have pit stains on them yet!
At this point I figure speech isn’t even necessary any more since the kids can’t hear me anyway, and I begin to hatch a plan as I clean up their mess and set things to order.
They will pay for this…oh yes, they will pay.
So I’ve got the house clean, the toilet paper hanging off of my neighbors fruit trees, the bread is safe in one bag, and the utensils are all put away IN their 
PROPER places…
And now it’s time to implement the punishment.
That’s right…it’s movie night! And it’s my turn to pick!
I sit the kids down, pop in my favorite movies and we watch all of them. Twice…
What possible movies could I use as punishment, you may wonder? Why, the ones with happy endings, of course.
Excalibur, Gone With The Wind and Titanic…
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76 Comments
Perfect punishment for boys!
Their hearts will go on
Ha! I love it! You are brilliant! We have movie night every Friday and I never thought to use my pick as a source of punishment. Genius!!
Thanks for the inspiration dear friend. Hope you’re feeling better these days.
~Rosann
I’m okay…thanks for checking
My movie nights usually include pizza and the punishment´s for me… my kiddos are small and it´s usually a Disney movie or something of the sort. Guess I´ll just have to wait to get back lol
See you around
Lolo
LOL…I should punish myself more often:)
My dad would torture us with The Body Guard, The Sound of Music and Adventures in Babysitting…..you are too kind my dear!
You’re dad is hilarious!
Wow, Sharon. I sure hope you’re exaggerating or using creative license cause that’s crazy chaotic.
OH yeah, I always exaggerate
The opening of your story this time around made me thing of a Mythbusters episode where they tried to electrocute a dummy in a bathtub with a hairdryer. It was actually much harder than you might think to pull off.
I totally saw that!
As the say 99% of accidents happen in the bedroom.
Kids? Can’t live with them — can’t live without them!
Steve
Amen Steve…Amen
You can totally live without them. Just FYI.
Whew, cause I’ve been wondering
Entertaining as ever because it’s way too true! Also nice to see you back and I hope you are doing well.
Aw…thanks Amanda, it really has been a rough couple of weeks
LMAO! My eldest is a girl, and I remember when she suddenly hit the “Wear ALL the clothes!” phase. I have been on the verge of going insane seeing a full hamper of “dirty” laundry suddenly appear, with most items being ones I delivered as clean in a basket only the ay before.
I know! Exactly!!!
Have a Fantastic Tuesday!
Thank you Bob!
Been there…I understand! Could share many a story with you.
LOL…would love to hear it!!!
Hope everyone gets well Sharon — Sully
We’re totally working on it
Thanks Sully
Have a great week Sharon, love your blog.
Thanks for checking in Elza…hope you have a great week too
Why do you clean up their messes instead of making them clean up after themselves?
I’m not judging. It just seems like it would, eventually, make life in your house less chaotic and be less stressful for you. They sound completely wild.
Oh, this time was to teach a lesson. Believe me, they’re now cleaning up my messes,their fathers and even the neighbors
You’re sweet Liz, remember I joke around a lot
Very funny as always and I think it is a good punishment for the crimes committed. Hope all is well.
It’s getting better
We Had Junk food /TV night every Friday night when the kids were growing up. It was a cherished sought after activity amongst all the craziness of life
gotta always keep trying to make those memories
As they say, welcome to parenthood
Yup
You are so stinkin’ funny! I never thought of movie night as punishment. If I were to pull that off I’d have to let Scott pick since he’d torture the four girls with a man movie!
EXACTLY! Zombies…zombies!!!!
Love reading your posts
Aw…shucks Guillermo…you’re so sweet
The punishment is both boring and relaxing, if I was the kid. It’s boring because I watched many times. It’s relaxing since I had all the fun in the day time, running around the house, toilet papers flying, and etc.
Oh man…I didn’t even think of that
You are soooooo wicked! And it takes a lot of hard work and practice to be that wicked. Good job!
Love, Mauntie
Wow…the highest praise from my mauntie…thank you
Not really all that much of a punishment, I doubt at such a young age they can grasp just how sappy these movies are. what you are doing however is making them better men by building up their tolerance. I am sure any future daughter in law will thank you for this.
I hope so
Ahh – that’s where all my Tupperware containers are found – the kids had them.
I love your writing style – I can picture the mayhem in my mind.
thank you Ed
I figured out what causing kids after 2 and put a stop to it.
Punishment was off to the room for an hour and the hour didn’t start till they asked to come out!
Bwahahahahaaaaa!
I’m not sure there is a permanent cure for this stuff (apart from maybe a convent)!
Convent…lol
Maybe you should make them watch the Swiss Chalet Rotissary channel for a couple of hours.
Ooh…that was a good one!
Nice to see a happy ending.
So were they
Great blog Sharon! Thank you.
Thanks for stopping by
After having watched this movie, Frankly, my dear, they just might give a ….
Ha ha….lol
chaotic indeed.
And always fun!
Six cups!!! SOUNDS LIKE MY DAUGHTER!!
Aha! You have one too!!! LOL
You would even punish me with Gone with the Wind!
I’ve seen it too many times.
LMAO!
I want to watch Gone with the Wind with you! I remember my step-daughters came home from seeing Titanic, and they came rushing in to tell me how great it was, and that Jack dies!
LOL! Courtney, it’s you and me and a “I don’t give a damn” date!
I would make them sit through Breaking Dawn too! Even I almost fell asleep during that one.
You are a genius!
Wonderfully entertaining! I love it! I think the pictures are great too. I would love to be punished with Gone With The Wind! LOL
Thank you soooo much!
omg, that made me laugh. Plus you are scaring me for what is to come in my house!
Fear…it’s what’s good for the kids
hahaa! That is so funny. But you know, wet toilet paper makes excellent playdoh. Doesn’t it?
Pam
Nope…I had no idea…but my kids must