Got My First Letter From Santa In 37 Years…He Says He’s Not Coming…

96 Thoughts

santaYou’d think after all the years I spent on Santa’s lap he’d be willing to overlook the fact that I gave birth to six demanding children who insist on the impossible for Christmas…

But nope…Santa’s gone rogue and insists he’s skipping the Madhouse this year.

Why?

According to his letter he can’t keep up with my kids and is pretty sure that the children’s father and I have been paying them to make unrealistic requests and drive him to permanent retirement at the Breckenridge Home for the insane.

But I swear…that only happened once.

Well, twice, but we don’t talk about the 2nd incident with anyone outside of immediate family.

Plus our lawyer told us not to.

So…as I was saying, according to Santa my kids are driving him to indulge on egg nog with all of their wants and he’s totally done.

Oh,  he also stated that he still wasn’t happy with my request last year when I asked for a non-drip mop for those days when I have tosanta and kids clean root bear from the ceilings.

And more spoons.

Ya know, to replace the ones my kids use digging to China.

At this point you’re probably wondering what could have possibly happened that caused so much discourse in my interpersonal relationship with the fat man.

Continue reading “Got My First Letter From Santa In 37 Years…He Says He’s Not Coming…” »

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Was My Friend, Dawn McCauley, Murdered Because She Lied? #domesticabuse

76 Thoughts

dawnLast week my friend was murdered by her estranged husband. This picture to the left is Dawn.

He’d been planning it for weeks.

And all that I’ve found out in the week since her death is that Dawn lied to her friends and because she lied we are shocked that she still even had a husband.

I’m not blaming Dawn. Matter of fact, I think I understand why she lied, but I am hurt and angry that none of us who knew her were given the opportunity to help her and thus, maybe preventing this tragedy from happening.

I met Dawn in the late 80’s, only I didn’t realize it until a decade later when I started shopping at a closer grocery store and saw her working there. We recognized each other since we’d hung with the same crowd even though we’d gone to different high schools.

From 1998 until last week I saw Dawn almost every week. She’d been working at Fry’s for 30 years and whenever I shopped we’d chat about friends, family, music, make jokes and tease each other.alone

We had so much in common. We were even pregnant together with our youngest kids.

And then one day I noticed a change in her behavior and her sudden weight loss. So much so that I told her she was starting to look like a 7th grade boy and what was she doing, smoking crack?

She told me that her husband had left her.

That was lie #1.

Continue reading “Was My Friend, Dawn McCauley, Murdered Because She Lied? #domesticabuse” »

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Must-Have Applications For Us

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clockThere are a number of applications that are good and aid us in our daily routine. However, some applications are extremely important for us and we cannot live without them.

We have compiled a small list of must-have applications.

Check them out:

1. Clock: Well, it is the most important thing for everyone, especially the boss! It is funny but have you noticed that you are using the digital clock everywhere, every time and on almost every device.

2. Refrigerator: Till the late 19th century, it was seen as a luxury item. Today, it is a necessity. Every household has at least one refrigerator in their house. Nowadays, they come in various shapes, forms and sizes.

For example, you can buy a jumbo double door refrigerator or a small cute personal cabin refrigerator. There is a size to satisfy your need. So, value the appliance and take care of it. It requires regular maintenance and you are capable of keeping it maintained.

Continue reading “Must-Have Applications For Us” »

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“MOM! If You Really Care, You’d Play With My Hair!”

94 Thoughts

fussyThere’s something really shocking that happens when one gives birth to a girl after having five sons.

It’s called being introduced to the “attitude.”

And my sweet Mary totally has one.

Or as the boys call her, “Little Miss Fussy.”

Or Veruca Salt. Depends on their mood.

And her disposition.

So I wasn’t surprised when Mary toddled into the family room a few weeks ago and accused me of not loving her enough since I’d recently run out of idea’s for her hair and she’d had braids, pony tails or pig tails for months.

I stopped dinner preparations and turned to her. “Oh…well…sorry I can’t think of anything new after seven years of doing your hair almost every, single day of your life.”

“How hard can it be mom? Just look something up on youtube.com.” And off she went to go bake herself a cake in her little Easy Bake Oven.disney pricess

UGH…I’m sick of “how to’s” on youtube.com.

I scratched my head and said to myself, “Self…how are we going to make this child a little more grateful that she even gets to have hair on her head? After all, we’ve been washing, drying, brushing and styling it since birth, so technically it’s our hair…

Let’s go set Veruca straight.” And I walked out of the kitchen to give her what for.

And then I decided to check my email instead.

Because that’s always more interesting than conflict-resolution with a seven-year-old.

Continue reading ““MOM! If You Really Care, You’d Play With My Hair!”” »

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Save Money This Christmas!

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xmas wish listChristmas is that magical time of year when you can wish for the wildest things to come true. For example, you can wish you were given huge discounts shopping online that will let you save an amount so big you will be able to get yourself and your family a trip to Hawaii or somewhere else with sun and cocktails.

This Christmas that wish can come true.

All you need to do is to make the most of online coupons when buying presents for your family members; you will save money but still have every gift you wished under a Christmas tree.

At Sears online store you can find everything you will need to make your Christmas magical, without having to spend too much.

Continue reading “Save Money This Christmas!” »

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Put Your Head On My Pillow, Hold It In Your Arms…Baby! @headleveler

85 Thoughts

imagesShh…I know, I know…I’ve just changed the lyrics from Paul Anka’s “Put your head on my shoulder,” for this Customized Headleveler Pillow I’m reviewing, but bear with me here. The song is totally stuck in my head.

Put your head on this pillow
Hold it in your arms, baby
Squeeze it oh so tight
Show it that you love it too

Put your cheeks on the pillow
Won’t you rest on it, baby
Just a kiss goodnight, maybe
You and it will fall in love
(You and it will fall in love)

Okay…concert’s over. You may commence reading my review now.

This made-to-measure, personalized, custom made, washable pillow I received from HeadLeveler for an honest review is simply AMAZING!!!!

Okay…review’s over.

No wait, there is no way this review is over, nor are there enough words for me to explain how incredible this pillow truly is.

lay downBut let me try.

Oh my gosh…the last time I slept this comfortably I think I was still in the womb.

Continue reading “Put Your Head On My Pillow, Hold It In Your Arms…Baby! @headleveler” »

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Dear Santa, All I Want For Christmas Is A New Shower Cap…And A Personalized Letter From You. Thanks

100 Thoughts

happy holidaysAnd maybe a million dollars. Or two…

That’s not too much to ask Old Saint Nick for. Right?

Speaking of asking Santa for something…I never once did I get to say “Santa Sent Me A Letter,” when I was growing up. I wonder why? Did I smell bad? Was I an ugly kid?

I do believe it’s way past time for me to get my own letter from Mr. Clause.

Don’t you agree?

So I think I’ll just start sending him mental images of my desired shower cap.

Along with that million dollars.

You know what? Let’s forget about the shower cap and hope for two million dollars.

Well, maybe not. I really could use a new once since the seven and nine-year-old’s keep using mine for Barbie and Ken’s dream pool.

And sometimes to cart the cat around in.santa

Oh, and let’s not forget the time when they filled the cap with jelly and crackers and took it outside with them so they’d have access to a quick and easy snack.

The only glitch in their portable snack plan was when they forgot to bring it indoors and we ended up with a backyard so full of ants that we could no longer find the dog when she went out to do her business.

Yeah, yeah…so I just exaggerated. But you get it.

Anyway, anyway…back to business.

I never got my very own letter from Santa when I was a kid and I think I may need some therapy to get over it.

You know, like when we still blame our parents for not giving us enough hugs when we were kids so now we’re serial killer type people?

Continue reading “Dear Santa, All I Want For Christmas Is A New Shower Cap…And A Personalized Letter From You. Thanks” »

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Shop Online Rather Than At The Mall.

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two womenA few days ago I was out shopping with a few of my friends. We were doing the usual stuff, walking around, giggling, and sipping chocolate cocktails.

The reason behind this little shopping trip was my one of my friend’s upcoming birthday (she was obviously not with us, because that would have ruined the whole birthday present surprise). The day was young and we were just having fun without caring too much about what to get for the birthday girl yet.

But after a few hours and probably one too many milk cocktails, we realized that the day is coming to an end and we haven’t found the right present yet, nor did we have much money left on us (those chocolate milkshakes can be ridiculously expensive). In the end, we decided that we won’t buy any presents for our friend, but rather try to find them online.

After all, you do not always go to a shopping mall to buy something; it is quite often that you go there just to spend some quality time with your friends, and then go home and buy your stuff online.

And that is exactly what we did.

Continue reading “Shop Online Rather Than At The Mall.” »

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I Wanted To Write About Something Dirty, But My Blog Is Supposed To Be Squeegee. I Mean, PG. @ZabadaClean

112 Thoughts

kids in bathroomYeah, originally I wanted to write and complain a little bit about my kids toilet clogging again since someone actually managed to stuff a whole potato in the commode.

But I still can’t find enough words in the English language to describe what happened to the house after the toilet was flushed.

However, what happened after when I got all of my children in the same room will go down in Mom Madhouse history.

Anyhow, since I’m still trying to figure out how to get the seven-year-old down from the ceiling after she floated to top of the house,  I thought I’d share a secret with all of you about something I’ve always wanted for cleaning purposes, but never had.

And it seems like the perfect time to share my desire with you since I’ve been stuck cleaning walls, ceilings, mirrors, floors and toilets for what seems like days now.

Are you ready? Promise not to laugh?

I, Sharon…the Mad Mom, have always wanted my very own squeegee.

What? Is that not normal?

And thanks to the folks at Zabada, I finally have one. And it’s mine! All mine!

squeegy Continue reading “I Wanted To Write About Something Dirty, But My Blog Is Supposed To Be Squeegee. I Mean, PG. @ZabadaClean” »

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