Let’s Go Watch Uncle Jehoshaphat’s Slide Show Of The World’s Largest Unicycle. Again…

50 Thoughts

cameraI would be sad to find out that not everyone is so lucky to have an Uncle Jehoshaphat in their family.

Why?

Because the thought that I may be the only living person on planet earth that has to look at every picture taken since WWI by a man who was born before prohibition, troubles me.

Like last year, as per Uncle Jehoshaphat’s usual  modus operandi, he stopped by unannounced on his way to Buttzville, New Jersey to show us his latest collection of pictures and bore us into a coma.

Again…

Oh, and there was the 37 minute intermission where we all went outside to see where the bear he was stalking did some business on his bumper.

Good times, Uncle. Good times.

So…being the kind hearted niece that I am I decided to put together something entertaining for the next visit from the man with the portable slide show player and find a way to keep him from having the chance to show me the world’s largest unicycle and smallest men’s washroom.

Because much as I love him, I just can’t muster up enough enthusiasm to even pretend that I care.carmera 1

And in my quest to find a fun photo editor for my future feature presentation I remembered a post I had done for Fotor and recalled they had mentioned that they were working on slideshow creator.

Whoo Hoo! My own slideshow!

Watch out Uncle Jehoshaphat…

I’m a firin muh lazer!

Continue reading “Let’s Go Watch Uncle Jehoshaphat’s Slide Show Of The World’s Largest Unicycle. Again…” »

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Today I Decided To Count My Blessings. There’s A Minute And A Half I’ll Never Get Back @healthymama_

83 Thoughts

thinkingNot that I don’t have a ton of blessings or things that I’m thankful for. I totally do…

It’s just that they’re so ordinary.

You know how it goes. The scale in your bathroom cries whenever you walk by and some head hunter emails you with a job opportunity to be a human scarecrow, so before you succumb to the throws of misery you decide to sit down and write your list of blessings and things your thankful for.

To help prevent you from bungee jumping without the bungee.

And I was a little sad to see that my list is just so…normal.

Because when I completed my task it looked like this:

Blessings:

1.  My husband and kids still talk to me.

2.  I never had hammer toe.

3.  I have my tonsils.sits

4.  Only one fan broke this summer.

Continue reading “Today I Decided To Count My Blessings. There’s A Minute And A Half I’ll Never Get Back @healthymama_” »

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Local Mad Mom Becomes Hero In Grocery Store

67 Thoughts

50's mom shopsI still ask myself on a weekly basis what is life really like? A bowl of cherries or a box of chocolates?

Or maybe it’s like one lemon lemonade.

Oh, who cares…the point is that in the last two months a lot has happened to make me question life..

I have a new BFF, the neighborhood kids are ignoring me, my daughter called me a liar and I became a hero at my local grocery store.

Cool, huh?

“But Sharon,” you may think to yourself, “Why does any of this matter to me?”

It doesn’t…but it’s made some great status updates!

Continue reading “Local Mad Mom Becomes Hero In Grocery Store” »

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I Love It When My Daughters Announces How The Day Is Going To Be. Nah, Not Really…

64 Thoughts

girlHere’s how it started. Mary, my precious little girl, came out of her room and announced, “Today is homeschool day mommy, and we’re going to the movies since Dolphin Tale 2 has come out, so chop, chop! I don’t have all day! Call me out sick and let’s go!”

Who is this kid?

*Sigh*

I remember when I was pregnant for the first time and hoping for a little girl who would sit and watch re-runs of Little House on The Prairie with me so I’d have someone to cry with.

And I had a son who liked to cut the hair off of Barbie dolls instead.

When I got pregnant with sons #2 and #3 I was just wishing for a little girl who would share my love of chocolate and pickles so we could snack together.

I ended up with two boys who hate anything unless the recipe calls for bacon.

With sons #4 and #5 I dreamed of a little girl who would sit still and play with dolls and have tea parties.

I had two more boys who thought shaking bottles of root beer and letting them explode on the vaulted ceiling was a good way to pass the time.

When I was pregnant for the seventh time I just asked God for a little girl. I wasn’t picky by then, nope…not at all. And because I wasn’t to particular, God blessed this family with a mini me. Times like 26.

And by the time she was four I was asking God why I couldn’t have had ten boys.

winking Continue reading “I Love It When My Daughters Announces How The Day Is Going To Be. Nah, Not Really…” »

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Well, The Kids Are All In Bed…Now What?

63 Thoughts

ladyThe list my friends, is endless.

But let’s examine one of my favorite things briefly, shall we?

Not that! This is a family blog. No, what I’m talking about is the all time consuming, totally exciting and at times, really frustrating way to pass the time by playing online casino games.

Now, now…I know what you’re thinking. “But Sharon, I have 17 unmatched socks and I need to find my missing spoons!”

No, you really don’t. I promise the socks will always be mismatched and the spoons will always be missing, so give yourself a much deserved break and do something else.

Sit down and refresh yourself by betting your hard earned mad money and hit up the Gaming Club!

You may be wondering to yourself, “Why should I spend my perfectly good dollars on gaming instead of on other things like sandals, because I won’t need socks to wear them, and a new set of silverware?”

Because now when you tell the kiddies at the store, “No honey, I can’t possibly buy you that ring pop because mommy is broke,” you’ll really mean it!aces

Continue reading “Well, The Kids Are All In Bed…Now What?” »

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Don’t Make Me Angry Mr. Magee, You Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m Angry

97 Thoughts

cropped-blue.jpg*This is a review and a giveaway of Matcha Tea. I was given the product to try from Kiss Me Organics and the opinions are mine. All mine. Well, my kids tried it too and want me to say, “Hmm…it’s not too bad.”*

Is it weird that I still have a crush on David Banner? And if someone doesn’t know who Mr. Magee or David Banner are, I refuse to answer based on the fact that I will date myself.

(Psst…It’s from the Incredible Hulk television series from 1978-1982.)

But this post has nothing to do with David Banner, Mr. Magee or The Incredible Hulk. The only reason I mention it is because I’ve been drinking this green tea for two weeks and my younger kids keep making jokes that I’m so mean and green that I’m becoming the Hulk.

So there ya have it…the connection.

But let’s be serious for a moment, shall we? I like tea…I like coffee better, but I like tea. Especially green tea, and when Jessica at Kiss me Organics asked me if I wanted to try their Matcha Green Tea Powder I thought, sure…why not?

And being a tea drinker of anything green for a number of years now, I actually considered myself a connoisseur of sorts.

Which is sort of dumb since all of the tea I’ve ever drank usually had a paper tag attached and said things like, “Liteapton.”

Anyway, anyway, I was anxious to try this product because I’d only recently heard of Matcha and every time I did I kept thinking,  “Gotcha macha.” Which is also dumb because it makes no sense.

Continue reading “Don’t Make Me Angry Mr. Magee, You Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m Angry” »

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Sharon’s Weight Loss Tips

96 Thoughts

lose weight

*Disclaimer. I’m noticing a lot of people are responding to the title and first sentence. This post is one, big fat joke…which means most of the comments I’ve received so far don’t make any sense. Thank you for your attention. Now…on to the post*

 

Eat when you’re hungry, stop when you’re full.

Okay…all done.

Oh wait, life is never that simple. If it were, we wouldn’t need weight loss tip number two which is something like, “If you’re craving chocolate, don’t eat it. Instead have a dill pickle, it’ll curb your chocolate cravings.

By the way, weight loss tip number two is a big, fat lie.

Okay, number three. Be honest about your calorie count.

Which is dumb because how can I get through the day if I stick to that 1000 calorie deal my doctor thought was a good idea? Hmm?

Because frankly cereal at night is the best snack ever.

But, if I have to count calories I’ll make it worth my while by enjoying my carbs.

So on to number four. We’ve all heard of using that red, green, orange rule, right? Well, thank God Starburst and Skittles have that covered and it requires no hard thinking on my part.

Number five. Eat one less bite.

So make sure that last bite is a big one.mommy on diet

Number six. Drink more water. Which is excellent since it mixes so well with kool-aid, lemonade and Bourbon.

Continue reading “Sharon’s Weight Loss Tips” »

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